Below are the 2 most recent journal entries recorded in pammy50's LiveJournal:

Monday, May 1st, 2006
1:10 pm	She did it her way After kamigirl's post last week, I have been thinking about my sister Lisa's choice in her way of dying. She is my little sister, my only sister, and I love her so much. This has not changed since her death, but I think I understand now that the actions she took in her death process were HER choice, not mine. Her Stage IV breast cancer was Dx on July 25th and she died August 25th. In that month(she lived in Birmingham and I live in Nashville)she had one chemo and then was so lethargic and yellow from the liver mets, she allowed me to make an appointment at Cancer treatment Center in Tulsa, we flew out on August 8th and she was conscious (semi at times) until 8/20, at which point I called her son and my mother to let them know she was worsening. I can see now that she knew what she was doing, got away from family with me, as she knew I could deal with the aspects of her decline. I love and miss her now just as much, if not more, as I did in August of last year, and am glad I was able to be with her in her last journey here. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
10:58 am	Another day older and deeper in debt OK...today is my birthday. 55 and counting. Seems real shitty that the one person I miss most on my birthday is Lisa, she always remembered my birthday, made a big deal out of holidays, too. Billy's birthday is 1/15/06, I must make this a big deal, cos Lisa would have. Damn it, I miss her so much. Many's the time I picked the phone up to share something sick and twisted that only she and I would appreciate, only to have that gut-wretching realization that I will never see her again. So where is that lovely moment when the person you have lost lets you know in some supernatural way that she is OK? I am waiting. So far, all I have is empty space. Lisa, are you there? Come in, Lisa..over and out. God, I miss my sister. Current Mood: morose Current Music: Sopranos sound track (Comment on this)